Escaped From Prison Or A Mental Hospital - You Decide!

I've received so many complimentary comments on my mug-shot/profile photo, I thought I should return a little of the love by explaining just how I managed to pull off such a criminal (or criminally insane) look. In my youth, when what little remained of my soul was captured by that particular camera's lens, I had a luscious, thick head of hair that I kept meticulously trimmed with the #3 guard on my Sunbeam® brand hair trimmer. I chose that length because it made rubbing my head most closely approximate petting a farm animal. Bored with my natural, golden auburn color, I spent $7.99 plus tax on a bottle of Lady Clairol® "Platinum" hair coloring and went blonde. This and the fact that the photo was taken during Winter in Iowa explains the slight albino cast to my visage. The shirt was from my "Polyester Professor" line of thrift-store activewear. I was usually seen wearing such a shirt with a cardigan, but to heighten the thug effect I was sporting the a la carte look that night. The photo resolution is too low to show any of my earings besides the pirate hoop I wore. I believe I had 3 earings, a stud and a hoop in the left ear and a stud in the right, because social mores of the time dictated that heterosexual males have more left then right ear piercings. I can't apologize enough for the glasses. They look more like motorcycle goggles than anything I would be caught dead in nowadays. I guess I should mention, I had originally intended to take this picture in the black-and-white photo booth at The Deadwood, but since that one seemed to be perpetually out of order (including on one particularly unfortunate birthday that my friend Paul would remember well) I had to settle for the color booth at the mall. I suppose I should be thankful, since otherwise the sumptuous palate of this photo would have been a drab grayscale. And that's it. I'll happily reminisce about those days with anyone who remembers them, but only for the price of a beer.